It is disheartening to see many marriages brought to abrupt end these days. You will be amazed to discover that a wedding you attended this time last year has been dissolved.
So shocking are the numbers of divorce cases currently awaiting the pronouncement of courts.
Today a wife is in court for dissolution of her marriage to her husband because the man is cheating on her, tomorrow another is in court seeking that her marriage is brought to an end over husband’s lack of care.
Recently, a court dissolved a marriage as a result of the husband’s complains which included his wife’s poor cooking habit. When one read all these, then you begin to wonder, how did the couple get to that stage? Why can’t they manage their homes for the sake of the children? Why can’t they tolerate one another?
It’s even a bit fair when you hear about marriages brought to an end based on such reasons, but you get worried and confused when you hear about a wife who stabbed her husband to death over infidelity or you hear about a husband who poured acid on his wife for receiving a phone call put through to her by another man.
Forget about millions of cash expended on weddings these days, forget about the who is who in the society who graced the occasion, forget about the publicity given to the wedding, is it the clothes wore by the bride and groom that you want to talk about, or the expensive ‘aso ebi’ of different colours wore by friends and family to the occasion?
Is it that people no longer care about the ties which marriage is supposed to bring, ranging from physical family ties to emotional ties Is that people no longer care about whose feelings get hurt when they call for the dissolution of marriage? What happens to the children?
What become of the future of the children? Who gains custody? Will the children have access to good upbringing if they are left with either parent? Well, all these and more are what goes through our individual minds when we hear about the crash of an ordained marriage.
Yes, some would say it is better to leave a marriage peacefully when either of the two is perceived to be choked, or before they killed each other, but what if they sought for other means of making the marriage work?
Perhaps, the couple has gotten it wrong somewhere, why not discover that point where you both have gotten it wrong and make amends.
You both must have courted before you finally decide to settle down against all odds. During courtship, how much of your spouse do you care to know?
Is your spouse the type that sleeps early?
What is the quantity of the food he or she can consume?
Does he or she like to eat cold or hot food?
Does he or she snore while sleeping?
How well can she cook?
Is she the type that prefer to eat out rather than cook her meal?
Does she like expensive things?
Is he or she fashionable enough four you?
What is his favorite meal, drink, colour, outfits, can you cope with it if you end up together?
How much is he earning?
Is he or she God fearing, respectful, and caring?
All these and more are supposed to be put into consideration before you finally take the bold step as a man to seek for her hand in marriage, and as a woman before you finally say yes “i will marry you”.
There is a popular saying that there is no perfect marriage, yes, agreed, but this does not only applies to marriage, nothing in life is actually perfect except we want to keep deceiving ourselves.
Today you buy a new car, tomorrow you are already tired of it. This minute you have the urge to eat a nice meal, after cooking it, you simply loss appetite.
Marriage is all about tolerance, communication and endurance. Build your home on the foundation of God, no matter your religion, respect your spouse, pray together, share information, dont keep anything from your spouse except if it involves official information of your working place.
Spice up your marriage, go for holidays, dont deny him or her sex, and do not involve third parties in your marriage.